it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
