I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
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