I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
