My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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