Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
