I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
