And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
