if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
