I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
