Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
