They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
