I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
