and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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