The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I can tuck mytits in my pants
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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