It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
