There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
