shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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