i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
