she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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