I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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