I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
