My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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