I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
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Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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