Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
