Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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