Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
