I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
