dude i'm inner monologue high
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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