White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Randomize
