You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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