It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
