make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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