we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
