Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize