I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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