i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
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i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
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I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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