that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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