she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
