I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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