You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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