I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
tell me about the eggs
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
