checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
