:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
