The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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