Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
