I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
