So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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