So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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