Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
