On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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