I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
