It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize