Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
