Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
