dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
