2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
