I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
