Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
