A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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