Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
